Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
