The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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