But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
