a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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