We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
