I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize