'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
