her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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