just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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