So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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