Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize