i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
