Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
