Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
