I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
