there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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