Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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