Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
