Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
