Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
