so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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