Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish you could order shots online.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
