11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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