Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
