32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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