there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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