I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
