He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
