I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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