I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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