is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
