just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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