No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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