I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
