It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
