He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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