yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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