I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
two words: eviction party
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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