I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
