8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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