have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
