Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize