dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
