Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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