his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize