Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
