im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
where am i from again
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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