how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
