Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
