tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
