butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
