Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we have pet lesbian snakes
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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