well I can't set my house on fire every night
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize