Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
