If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
