dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
