I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Im part way to drunk.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
