This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
