am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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