We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
