Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.

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  (773): I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you. http://tfl.nu/kzww
  Replies (25) Good night (1169) Bad night (3076)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...

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  (239): so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM... http://tfl.nu/hm43
  Replies (33) Good night (929) Bad night (3184)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

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  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (8329) Bad night (73416)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

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  (404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you? http://tfl.nu/4jb3
  Replies (22) Good night (9589) Bad night (6397)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic

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  (240): No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic http://tfl.nu/pmgj
  Replies (23) Good night (979) Bad night (3011)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell

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  (615): jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell http://tfl.nu/zqhf
  Replies (51) Good night (1450) Bad night (3659)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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  (904): I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester. http://tfl.nu/arpr
  Replies (9) Good night (1222) Bad night (2918)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1158) Bad night (3920)
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  (516): View more from New York

  History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.

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  (516): History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad. http://tfl.nu/o7dx
  Replies (4) Good night (1641) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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  (505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr
  Replies (6) Good night (1982) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!

  (408): View more from California

  For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?

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  (831): You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!! (408): For my parents' annivery card? How high are you? http://tfl.nu/qppn
  Replies (2) Good night (1734) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.

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  (603): Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building. http://tfl.nu/icp2
  Replies (5) Good night (633) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

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  (508): Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list http://tfl.nu/sa1j
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote

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  (717): I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote http://tfl.nu/lx18
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives

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  (919): Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives http://tfl.nu/v851
  Replies (3) Good night (257) Bad night (519)

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