Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today

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  (770): I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today http://tfl.nu/te6h
  Replies (41) Good night (5491) Bad night (534)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.

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  (513): I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life. http://tfl.nu/fi4n
  Replies (6) Good night (4399) Bad night (811)
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  (818): View more from California

  I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.

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  (818): I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself. http://tfl.nu/m9u0
  Replies (6) Good night (2214) Bad night (969)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!

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  (440): WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?! http://tfl.nu/lphy
  Replies (17) Good night (2631) Bad night (1349)
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  (714): View more from California

  Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.

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  (714): Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner. http://tfl.nu/auiz
  Replies (5) Good night (4849) Bad night (863)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  You had me at shuffleboard and strippers

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  (509): We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers. (1-509): You had me at shuffleboard and strippers http://tfl.nu/do6h
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (503)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.

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  (936): You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me. http://tfl.nu/du0t
  Replies (13) Good night (3827) Bad night (814)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement

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  (450): I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement http://tfl.nu/63m9
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (463)
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  (626): View more from California

  So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?

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  (626): So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room? http://tfl.nu/5xcr
  Replies (8) Good night (567) Bad night (2172)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.

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  (914): Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/r09f
  Replies (9) Good night (460) Bad night (1043)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...

  (512): View more from Texas

  This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.

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  (512): Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it (1-512): We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream... (512): This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life. http://tfl.nu/ar28
  Replies (5) Good night (2785) Bad night (499)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.

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  (506): I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks. http://tfl.nu/uhzd
  Replies (7) Good night (376) Bad night (666)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date

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  (704): We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date http://tfl.nu/7for
  Replies (1) Good night (1000) Bad night (261)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology

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  (717): im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology http://tfl.nu/f7q0
  Replies (6) Good night (675) Bad night (209)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.

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  (203): I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now. http://tfl.nu/z6cp
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (313)

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