Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I touched a dick in church today
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
