Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im ready to get crazy and take my wig off

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  (978): im ready to get crazy and take my wig off http://tfl.nu/0nn5
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (737)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi

  (214): View more from Texas

  ok, stay where you are, be there soon

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  (508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi (214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon http://tfl.nu/1y99
  Replies (55) Good night (2594) Bad night (813)
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  (805): View more from California

  Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.

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  (805): Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die. http://tfl.nu/cdvk
  Replies (13) Good night (775) Bad night (2707)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh yeah that.

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  (781): WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? (339): Oh yeah that. http://tfl.nu/clil
  Replies (50) Good night (2092) Bad night (5306)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.

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  (519): I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here. http://tfl.nu/gd63
  Replies (7) Good night (2895) Bad night (665)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?

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  (203): Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight? http://tfl.nu/h4cr
  Replies (8) Good night (1569) Bad night (612)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

  (518): View more from New York

  So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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  (203): If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi. (518): So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits? http://tfl.nu/jsif
  Replies (36) Good night (5038) Bad night (1082)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.

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  (940): I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me. http://tfl.nu/wgik
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (505)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know

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  (413): styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know http://tfl.nu/4o79
  Replies (9) Good night (1375) Bad night (578)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7

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  (816): Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7 http://tfl.nu/lqxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1091) Bad night (379)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...

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  (208): This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king... http://tfl.nu/nr91
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (351)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.

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  (210): Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me. http://tfl.nu/zs5w
  Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (326)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!

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  (701): DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO! http://tfl.nu/dkw6
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (492)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys

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  (612): I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys http://tfl.nu/2gbb
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (260)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.

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  (915): Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist. http://tfl.nu/1ory
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (228)

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