My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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