you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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