I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
