Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
