i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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