I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
